Monday Fun Day

Just a smidgen of sarcasm in the title of this one. Yep, juuust a touch. I'm sitting at my desk right now trying to pretend that the drizzly, cloudy day outside isn't as perfect for staying at home as my mind keeps trying to tell me it is. It's days like these that my brain, bless it, goes into overdrive trying to come up with excuses for me to get out of work. It's amazing how creative the mind can be when you get it in your head that you don't want to do something. If I had to create a math equation to explain the heavens and the earth to get out of coming to the office, I'd have it done in 10 minutes, tops.

Here's a little peek into my wonderful world this morning: I enter our office space on the first floor and take the stairs so I don't have to pretend I give a crap about anyone I might have to share a 10 second elevator ride with. Coming at me in another direction at the bottom of the stairwell are two developers. I know that they are developers because when they see me they look to the floor, wall, ceiling and anything but me so quickly that you'd think I was Medusa and they would turn to stone if they saw my eyes. Nope. Social folks developers are not.

Anyhow, I get to my desk and try to position myself in a way that suggests "piss off" to any of my team members that might come to me with a question. Just when I've sunk in nice a comfortable like, opened my "The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill" quote book and begun the process of trying to avoid work, I get a request over Instant Messenger from one of my team members to approve something (the authority to approve certain requests is something that sounds good to prospective managers, but is actually just another responsibility that takes up time and causes people to badger you). I duly give my approval and then comes the reply that is like Monday, the actual day of the week, slapping me in the face....front hand and back hand: "Happy Monday." Happy Monday? Happy Monday?! Are you f*&%#!*$ kidding me? Who says that? I thought "TGIF" was unacceptable, but at least that farce of a term refers to a day we all like. Happy Monday? I was literally lost for words,which isn't something that happens to me very often. What's so happy about Monday? Pray, tell. All I could muster was a "you too", even though what I really wanted to do was go grab her by the collar and shake her around a bit, maybe slap her once or twice for good measure, ala the classic scene from "Airplane." G-o-o-d G-o-d. I really thought I was crazy, but now I'm beginning to think I'm one of the big fish in the increasingly small normal pond.

This is what I have to deal with on a daily basis. For all of you other poor people that go through the same ridiculousness, I feel your pain.